The Tighter You Squeeze, the Less You Have

This is the truth isn't it?  The tighter you squeeze a lemon, the more lemon juice in your cup, but the less lemon you have in your hand! Or imagine a child that intensely (and innocently) wants to give a cat the most wonderful and the most enthusiastic hug, which turns into more of a smothering! The cat just wants to run away. "Too much," it says, "you're squeezing the life out of me."

Easy concept to grasp in those examples, isn't it? Then why in our lives do we so desperately get attached to what we want when we want it?

We've all done it. We start out with a thought, which turns into a vision and then we create a goal. We put our energy into the action, working toward fruition. This is all good. Yet sometimes we get very focused on the outcome we desire. So much so that we hang onto it with all our might, hoping, wishing, praying that it would just turn out the way we want it to. Then everything would be OK.

What we're really telling ourselves is that we don't know how we'll handle the other options. The way we want it is safe. Any other outcomes are uncertain. Then life just wouldn't be in our control. It would shatter our illusion that we are able to control our circumstances, our future, and every aspect of our lives. Oh, we would never admit that we think we have this much power. After all, intellectually and logically we know this is unrealistic. But we sure like to believe we have this much power.

Think about the last time you had an expectation around a conversation - you knew exactly how it was all going to happen. Probably you even played it out in your mind, imagining what it was going to look like, sound like and feel like. You expected him or her to agree with your opinion, or apologize or support you. Still things didn't quite go your way. S/he didn't respond quite the way you hoped. You couldn't let it go. You became frustrated, angry or hurt.  Why? It's not what you wanted and after all, you should be able to have things your way. I'm exaggerating here a bit of course, but I'm sure we've all had at least one of these experiences.

We can be so attached to the outcome we want, the expectation that we have, that we receive exactly what we don't want. By hanging on so tight to what we want, a part of us focuses our energy on our fear - what we don't want. And guess what? If our fear is strong enough, it takes energy away from our desire and we receive less than what we want.

But when we can set intention in our heart, put our best effort into our actions, and then let it go, we are inviting the possibility that is for our highest good, whether that is the outcome for which we hoped or another. Another may be even better. This is trust in the universe. This is surrender to the Great Mystery.

Imagine setting free the bird that holds the desire in your heart. If you hold your hand closed, squeezing your fist tight, hanging onto your wish, the bird may return but have nowhere to land. You receive less. But if you hold your hand open, patiently waiting, your bird can find it's way home to you again, knowing it is graciously received and alight gently with your gift.





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