| Creating the 2003 of your heart's desires
Who are you going to be in 2003? What will you do to make your dreams come true?
If you're like most people, just before the New Year you spent some time reflecting on the past year. I hope that you found many things to smile about! Did you then make any new commitments to yourself? If you did, congratulations for taking the initiative. It’s now the beginning of February, so how have you done? Have you lived up to the promises you made to yourself? Or are the holidays starting to feel like they're long forgotten? It doesn't take much to find ourselves back in the same old routine!
The reason New Year's resolutions sometimes don't work is because most people set an intention once, usually half-heartedly, and then forget about it. Or they make a list on paper that is far too long and overly ambitious, then put it into a drawer only to find it during spring cleaning the following year! This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t focus your energies on what you want, but keeping it really simple will make it easier for you to follow through!
Is this the year that your life will be the way you want it to be? You have the power to choose. Are you ready? There is a reliable way to find yourself feeling even more fulfilled next New Year - by taking the time now to choose what you want for 2003. Sure, life is a mystery and there are many things you can never predict or control, but when you don't take the time to put energy into what you want, life happens to you. This is precisely when life feels out of control.
Your past can expand your future. The past year can be a phenomenal source of information to help you see the future more clearly. One of the kindest gifts you can give yourself is quiet time alone to reflect on your experiences of 2002. Surround yourself with the sights and sounds that will comfort and calm you, and give you the suitable space for uninterrupted time. Relax. Scan your memory not only for activities that took place, but also how you felt at high points and low points. Reviewing the milestones or even special occasions from earlier in 2002 can bring to memory some experiences that perhaps you've forgotten. If you're a photography buff you may want to use pictures to jog your thoughts. Or use your organizer to remember what each month was about!
Clarity creates clear energy. Now think of your whole life as a balanced circle (Circle of Desires). Imagine that it’s divided into sections that represent the various areas of your life, such as family/friends, career, personal growth, play, physical environment, finances, health, and significant relationship. These are typical categories, but you can customize the sections to whatever suits you best. For each area ask yourself the following questions in the sequence listed. You may add any other questions that you feel would help you develop more clarity.
1.What was really satisfying about this area of my life? 2.Given all the things that were satisfying to me, of what do I want more? 3.What would make this area of my life even more satisfying? 4.Given my response in the previous question, what do I need to let go to have that? 5.Given my response in question 3, to what do I need to give my attention to have that? 6.What did I learn in this area of my life? 7.What do I want to do with that learning? 8.How can I deepen or expand that learning? 9.What did I commit to doing that was important to me and have yet to do?
Trust your first and immediate responses. These are usually the ones most important to you because they come from your heart rather than your head. When it comes from your head you tend to think, and then think, and then think, until you talk yourself into something quite different! This exercise is partly practical and partly visionary, so let your heart’s desires speak to you. If you like to write, spend some time journaling about your responses. This will help to flush out your thoughts and emotions, and perhaps provide ideas for future planning. Once again, consider not only what you did in 2002 in terms of activities and accomplishments, but also how you felt, who you were as a person, how you related to others, etc. For example, in the area of Personal Growth, you may say that attending a workshop to learn more about yourself was satisfying. That was an activity. You may also say that it was satisfying to you when you trusted yourself. This is a reflection of who you were, your 'beingness'.
Focus comes from simplicity. Now for each area of your life, write the one thing that you want to focus on for the next year. What is the one thing you want to remember that will guide you to where you want to be on December 31/03? For example, if you want to reduce the clutter in your home, or perhaps even set your sights on a larger home, the phrase “create space” is enough to guide you in all your actions. You’ll know what to do with faxes and files you save, E-mails that you let sit in your inbox, clothes that you never wear, or any other things that creep into your space and decide to stay a few nights! It’s a clear intention from which all other related actions flow!
In the center of the circle write the one word or phrase that represents your most important focus for the year. Think of it in these terms: if this was the only change you made for yourself in 2003, it would leave you feeling satisfied. The one focus that will keep you on track, so much so that it captures the feeling of being right where you want to be by December 31/03. This can be a very powerful affirmation that you can use on a daily basis.
Visualization anchors your desires. Up until now you’ve been focusing on the ‘what’. The next step is to understand the ‘how’. Your behaviours create your outcomes, so if you want things to be different this year you have to be willing to change your behaviours. You could now make a list of action items that will help you make each of your stated desires a reality. If you like following lists, stick with them. But if you’re like most of us you’ll probably not look at the list again. So keep it simple. Think of a few ways in which what you do and say will be different from the past, and then visualize yourself carrying out these actions. Use all your five senses. Get in touch with what you’re feeling as you see yourself carrying out the actions, and how fulfilled you’re going to feel after having done so. This begins to cement the commitment to yourself. Keep at it until the picture, the sounds and the feelings are familiar and solid. Then anchor all of it so that it remains with you. Create a simple physical gesture you would not ordinarily repeat in your day-to-day living. The more often you do the gesture along with the conscious imagining, the stronger the anchoring becomes. The gift of this anchoring is that when you want to bring the positive emotions and sense of fulfillment back to yourself (so you stay focused on your desires), you need only repeat the gesture. Sounds too simple? Maybe it does, but it works!
Give attention to your intention. If you really want the desires in your heart to bloom, give them energy. Energy is contagious, so once you set the ball rolling keep it up! Post your Circle of Desires for 2003 in a place where you see it EVERY DAY, and stay conscious of what you promised yourself you would achieve. By bringing attention to your intention, it has a better chance of becoming your reality! Use your anchor to bring your commitment to the forefront again. But be kind to yourself and don't try to change everything in your life at once. Changing old behaviours and adapting new ones takes perseverance, conscious effort, and energy.
Be sure to reevaluate your intentions on a regular basis to determine if they are still aligned with what you really want. Remember that you have the choice to change them anytime, especially if you’ve already mastered the intentions you set. And don’t be surprised if you do!
Clear the roadblocks. You say you've tried setting goals in a similar way before, but it didn't work. Consider what might be holding you back. Perhaps it’s more than just lack of commitment. Human complexity is such that there can be many layers of old, unconscious beliefs that no longer support new desires. By uncovering the root cause of your limiting beliefs you give yourself the power to choose what you want to do with them. If they no longer serve you, you can let them go or transform them and make space for new energy. Your willingness to examine your own assumptions of life will open space for more possibilities!
Would a partner be helpful to you? A life coach or psychotherapist can help you become aware of old patterns and beliefs that are standing in your way, by asking powerful questions that can lead to new perspectives and new choices. In fact, a life coach can help you at every stage of this clarifying and focusing process, and help you to keep yourself on track with your commitments. If you feel you need a helpful hand to make your dreams a reality, take that step. Especially if you’re ready for rewarding leaps and bounds!
So here’s your chance. It may be the beginning the February but it’s not too late. 2003 can be the year that life turns out just as you hoped. Surprises will surely arise, but wouldn’t it be nice to know you did your very best to give yourself what speaks to your heart. Just picture it: at the next New Year’s party when somebody asks you what kind of year you’ve had, you answer, “Just the way I imagined it”!
Copyright 2003 MIND and SPIRIT All Rights Reserved
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